Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
