And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
