So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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