yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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