i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
