champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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