i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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