We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
