btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
