Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
