Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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