it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
