just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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