This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
