idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
