New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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