he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
