Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
