I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
