forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
