is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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