Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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