Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
