Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
