I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
