Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
