A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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