I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
