Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
