So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
