I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
