A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
