He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so let's talk penis.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
