Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
