plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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