Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
tell me about the fingering
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