.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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