wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
