You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
