we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
