I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
