Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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