Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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