Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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