I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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