Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
