We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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