apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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