i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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