pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
