11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
