'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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