Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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