Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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