Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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