what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize