shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
