i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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