I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
