I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
did i walk over a car last night?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
