you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
